Last Friends: Liberation
by sherwin
Summary: Last Friends ラスト・フレンズ . Takes place right after the end of Episode 5. An insight into Ruka's thoughts and feelings.


**Last Friends: Liberation**

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There's nothing else I can do. I've told myself that countless times. Even Eri and Takeru can't seem to stop worrying about Michiru after she stormed off like that. Aren't I worried, you ask? Of course I am! But really, if she chooses to go back to Sosuke's side after all he's done to her, what can I say to stop her? "He's bad for you. He's not someone who can give you happiness"? I've tried that, haven't I?

She knows it's the truth, and it hurt to see the expression on her face when I said that. But just as I can't help loving her, she can't help loving him. I understand that very well. After all those years I've known her, after all this time we've been apart, she's still the same Michiru. Always looking at the bright side of a situation and desperately finding the good side of people, even though there's hardly any most of the time.

She sees the world through rose-tinted glasses and, though I can't see what she sees, it's one of the aspects that I love about her. That innocence, the way she seems so untainted and optimistic, even as life continues to be less than fair to her.

I might nod unenthusiastically and look bored each time she talks about her plans of building a happy home with her prince charming. But in reality, those are the times I enjoy most; watching her blissful face, listening to her as she happily describes the house of her dreams, surrounded by a garden full of her favorite flowers. I have to admit it makes me a little sad at the same time, because I know I can't be the person to give her all that. But as long as she's happy, then it's enough. I'm content by just being by her side. Those moments with Michiru certainly helped me through some of my darkest hours, the times I started realizing things about myself. As much as she regarded me as her protector, the one being saved again and again was me.

What I admire most about her is her strength. Yes, I admire Michiru's strength. That might sound weird after what she just said about herself being weak...and me being the strong one. I wanted to laugh and cry at that. How she got it totally wrong. I know that despite what she says and does, she has that strength inside of her. I witnessed it all the time when we were still in school. No matter how bad things were at home, she would always come to school with a genuine smile plastered on her face, cheerfully greeting me as if her crying her eyes out the night before didn't happen. Each time I found her at 'our spot' in the park with her shoulders slumped, my heart clenched.

Without saying anything, I would just sit beside her and wait for the words to come. At times, tears would flow instead and I would hold her while silently praying for my own tears not to betray me. I needed to be strong. Be the pillar that supports her. Because at that time, that was the only thing I could be for her.

Now, I don't know if it's enough for her, or even for me anymore. What she just said about me being a strong person, I guess I should be...happy? Since that's all I wanted to be for her, right? But why do I feel otherwise? What is this sense of helplessness and inevitability that I feel? What's the use of being strong if I can't even protect her?

...

Well, the alcohol certainly does wonders in blocking all the questions one doesn't want to answer. The downside is it's making me act like I'm 10 again. Eri and Takeru are obviously enjoying my rare moment of weakness.

"You were really chugging down those drinks like they were water, Ruka." Eri turns to Takeru skeptically, "It wasn't really water, right?"

Takeru smiles and gestures at me with a tilt of his head, "Do you seriously need to ask me that?"

Eri glances at me again and chuckles, "I guess not. Only that much alcohol can transform Ruka from a motocross champion into a spoiled brat."

That earns them both a glare from me, "Hey! I might be spoiled, but I certainly am not a brat!" I guess the slurring makes it even funnier, since they're just laughing at that. "Uh… I just won the championship while setting a new nationwide record. Can't I just celebrate that?" Right. I almost forgot what the night was actually about.

"Uhuh, if you say so." Takeru replies nonchalantly while holding me up. It's clear he doesn't buy my excuse for getting so drunk. I feel kind of bad for how I reacted earlier when he was only trying to comfort me. But that's the thing. I don't deserve to be comforted.

"Well, it isn't like you to go all out like that, Ruka. You sure you're fine?" Eri asks worriedly. It's rare to see her frown so she must be really concerned at my sudden lack of self-moderation. "

Eh, why wouldn't I be? I'm more than fine. If I win the next five races, I can finally make my debut at the All-Japan championship!" I try to reassure them while pumping both fists into the air. But I stumble and would have fallen flat on my face if Takeru and Eri didn't grab me in time.

"Alright, alright. Before any of that, we need to get you back home in one piece, okay?" Takeru laughs kindly, placing my right arm around his shoulder, Eri mirroring him with my left. "Okay!" I raise my arms again, still channeling the mischievous 10 year old child in me.

"Let's drink some more at home!" They just look at each other amusingly and shake their heads before lugging my drunken self back to the share house.

Michiru, today was the best day of my life, and also the worst. Learning to live without you again will be hard. But with friends like these to go home to, I think I'll be fine. I've decided. I won't allow myself to be concerned anymore. I can't afford to be a prisoner in this cycle of love and heartbreak you've got yourself into. After all, the one who would get hurt in the end… is me.

* * *

A/N: Liberated? Probably not. Ruka has a hard journey ahead of her. ;; Thanks to Suketeru for the beta-ing (and the awesome work with the softsubs!). Leave a review if you feel like it. I'm not a writer so I guess this is more of a rantfic. As short as it was, hope it was entertaining anyway. Sorry if it wasn't the fluffy MichiRuka fic you expected...


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